Feels like im falling in love, when im falling to the bathroom floor

•August 4, 2009 • 1 Comment

I would guess that this is what it feels like to be broken

ive never felt like this before

“one less reason i should never have met you is just another reason i could never forget you”

Feels like im falling in love alone

I’ll pray for you, It’s the least that I can do.

•July 24, 2009 • 1 Comment

I’ve been let down more times than I can think of.
Or I can dream of…

I have nothing left to say on here for now.

To show you how I feel…

•July 7, 2009 • 1 Comment

I havent written here for so long

I can’t put into words how it feels to be this trapped.

or how I so want the boy who treats me like gold. but thats never going to happen when its almost always gold plated, and soon its most likely going to turn you green. well thats what happened.

and it came as no surprise to me that i didnt even care. the moment you shrug off situations like this is the moment you should probably break yourself down piece by piece.

But i can’t let go. I just did.

Just stay gold beautiful. Or not…

I guess now is a good time to tell the truth, I am not what you are.

•April 12, 2009 • Leave a Comment

why do you think you have any right to be disappointed in me when you never believed i could succeed in the first place?

If you think im going to fail then just watch me!

As if i needed you anyway, all you do is look down on me as if im going to turn out like the rest of them.

When it goes wrong, i dont want you to be there shaking your head as if you had anything to do with the way i am. Nothing will come of this. I’ll take the credit for myself. The fact that I picked myself up, i stood on my two feet, and i made my dreams into reality, and if doesn’t work out first time then so what? Bambi didn’t just get up and walk.

You once said that this is in my blood. Well fine, let me have this idea and run with it. For once I’m going to be strong, though you don’t know you’re doing any of this to me.

Even now, you’re in the next room to me, killing me. And I hate you for that. Money and anything else you have to offer will never be enough for me. All I ask is that for once you have faith in me.

Bon voyage?

•April 12, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I’ll pray for you, it’s the least that i can do?

What are you supposed to do when your biggest inspiration turns out to be a fake?

You were supposed to teach me to be like you, not how to fall apart when times got hard.

So i guess now i’m on my own. If you want a job done properly, you do it yourself right?

I can’t help feeling this huge weight upon my shoulders, but I have no one to please.

Hold Fast? Its like staying strong for a sinking ship, seeing as that’s what you have become and after all… dead men tell no tales.

Should i trust my printer’s ink, to express the things i think?

•March 23, 2009 • Leave a Comment

At this moment in time im working on three different pieces of writing

1. my English alevel text transformation. A story of a woman who has slept with (what she thinks is) too many people and fears judgment. I feel i wrote this pretty well.

2. My commentary on why i wrote this and how i wrote it. It’s really exciting stuff. I wrote it because im insecure and the words just fell off my fingers. If only writing that would get me full marks. short and sweet right?

3. this blog that sums up my transformation, commentary of transformation, and why i wrote my commentary. Basically not loving life right now.

I’m 2000 words down. 2000 words that don’t mean anything to me. I’d rather write you a letter. A few words is all i need to let you know…

I never got the chance to put my pride aside and do that for you.

You’re like an Indian summer in the middle of Winter…

•January 27, 2009 • Leave a Comment

When this over don’t blow you’re composure

Beautiful, You’re so in love with your own self hate, no one is ever going to come close.

One day, when your well of a brain runs dry and pen to paper no longer has the same effect, I’ll have a sentence or two for you.

Turns out i did that whole self appraisal thing and it’s not as bad as i thought it was.

There are people worse off, well at least a person. Good luck staying in the limelight, It might not turn sour for you.

I may have been wrong about myself too.. maybe i don’t have it in me to feel like you. You’ve built this alter ego on hate, now what are you going to do with him? He writes like an artist, words so beautifully executed on sheets, but you weren’t hurt quite enough it seems, you haven’t got a good song yet. I thought thats why you started this?